My daughter’s 9th grade English teacher recently sent an email to all of her students with some logistical information about what they can expect in the upcoming quarter, basic stuff. But she ended the email what I think might be the most beautiful statement. “I’m here for you and I will keep believing in all of you until you can believe in yourself.” My daughter absolutely adores 9th grade and this teacher, she frequently laments her sadness about the school year ending. And I get it, she has at least one and I suspect more, adults in her life at school rooting for her, believing in her, challenging her and yes, loving her. My eyes welled up reading the ending of that email and I briefly had the thought, “Maybe I should change professions and become a junior high teacher so I can be the one believing in all of those kids.” But then I quickly remembered, I get to do that already in my profession. I already get to believe in people who are not quite ready or are unsure of how to believe in themselves.
Which leads to the title of this blog, “What your therapist REALLY thinks about you.” It is incredibly intimidating to sit across from a practical stranger and spill your guts. But after doing this for a while and based on my experiences, here is what I think. I bet your therapist adores you. I bet your therapist thinks about you at odd times and hopes you are doing okay. I bet your therapist sees you for the beautiful soul that you are and just wishes that they could help you see what they see. I bet your therapist wishes that they could take away your pain, your sadness, your sorrow. I bet your therapist thinks that there is nothing that you cannot do and that once you are start believing that, there is no stopping you. I bet your therapist spends hours of research trying to find improved ways to help you feel better. I bet your therapist worries about you, hopes you are making choices that are in your best interests. I bet your therapist understands that life is not so easy, so it’s okay when you don’t make those choices. I bet your therapist hopes you feel safe enough with them to share what is really going on rather than the softer or edited version. I bet your therapist wishes it were easier for you to share those things that feel shameful and I bet your therapist does not judge you for the things that have happened in the past or are continuing to happen. I bet your therapist feels honored that you share your story with them, with vulnerability and honesty. I bet your therapist tries to challenge you at times, in the hopes of showing you just what you are capable of. I bet your therapist will believe in you, until you can believe in yourself.
If you have a hard time believing that these statements might be true, maybe it’s time to find a different therapist that does make you feel safe, believed in, challenged while cared for. Finding a good fit in therapy is where the magic happens. Wishing you the best, Sarah